It’s your own expectations that hurt you. Not the world you live in. Whatever happens in the world is real. What you think should happen is unreal. So people are hurt by their expectations. You know, you’re not disappointed by the world, you are disappointed by your own projections. - Jacque Fresco

Expectations create a tangled little web, detracting and distracting from what is directly in front of us. They are rooted in fear, which keeps us projecting into the future. The fear engages rigid thinking, limiting mental fluidity and flexibility. Rigid thinking can create a false sense of security because we have every little detail perfectly planned to meet our expectations without considering the choices or actions of others that influence or impact the outcome.

Expectations can impact all types of relationships, stirring up uncomfortable feelings for us to sort through. It’s easy to hold expectations on how we believe people ‘should’ act toward us, how they “should” see us, how they ‘should’ know what we need, and onward goes the list. The expectations seem to grow the closer the people are to us.

In these moments, it’s beneficial to take a step back and be curious if those expectations placed upon others are actually aspects you need to offer to yourself. Is it possible that there are choices you make that perpetuate the treatment you don’t like? Is there a shift that you need to make in order to experience something different when interacting with those close to you?

Mantra:
When I choose to accept myself, 
I allow life to unfold for me.

I have learned so much about myself through my various relationships: family, friends, partners. Each one has shown me another opportunity for me to be me. I don’t have to fit into a mold to appease someone else’s expectations of me. I don’t have to stay confined in someone’s past experience of me. I don’t have to hold my tongue when I have a differing belief just to keep the peace. I don’t have to pretend that I don’t feel a certain way in an effort to avoid conflict.

In other words, I held just as many expectations about myself as I did about what I believed other had for me. I had taken what I perceived others to expect of me and lived according to those expectations. Another way to say that: I was afraid to be me and, therefore, lived according to what I believed others expected of me.

Living my life according to a story of expectations created a lot of friction and displeasure within me. The friction spurred me into action, and now I am living a life that reflects who I am ... and letting others see me in that light.

Ann Ruane is a local Wisconsin author, pianist, composer and certified energy practitioner at Lux Eterna Healing, in West Allis. Visit her Patreon Link at Patreon.com/AnnRuane or visit Amazon.com/Author/AnnRuane. 
For more information, email [email protected].